An interruption to our schedule

Lying in bed. Well, on top of partially re-made bed. Minus cover-less duvet. Taking it easy.  Me and the cat, both.

See, I was having a lovely day at home and doing a spot of spring cleaning. But I had to pause for an appointment to donate blood. Off I went and was thoroughly enjoying myself. Enjoying? Oh yes, because fate smiled on me and gave me a venue of the very posh boys' school nearby, where I had the pleasure of secretly watching the sixth formers and reminiscing about youth.  I'm sure boys didn't look that good when I was 17.

Plus you get to lie down and read your book uninterrupted AND drink tea and eat biscuits. What's not to like? Nothing, until I'd finished up and was enjoying my custard creams when one of the nurses looked down and asked 'Is that pen on your jeans?' and when I looked, the alleged pen was suspiciously red and blood was dripping out of my arm and all over my shirt, the chair and the floor. Clearly I was having a more generous blood donation day than I had planned.

It wasn't serious - just dramatic, but I've abandoned the spring cleaning (I'm citing on medical advice - any excuse).  And delegated dinner-preparation. Score one for me! But my gleefulness about having to put down my metaphorical rubber gloves is symptomatic of an on-going ailment. See, I really really don't like housework.

Living in a clean house, I like. The tedium of the ongoing drudgery required to keep it that way, well count me out.

I have a friend, L, who lives in an immaculate house. She is a natural born cleaner - and for her, it's effortless. When she fills her kettle, she wipes the drip off the lip of the water filter. I always used to think this was the height of neurotic cleanliness. Until I spent time this morning, chiseling the limescale off the spout of my own filter jug. Now whose way seems better?

I've been thinking a lot about these things, since I came across Housework Blues - a survival guide. It's a fascinating read - and one that has had me nodding my head in agreement more times than I can count.

It's not a book which tells you how to polish silver or remove stains (though today, that knowledge might have helped my poor shirt). What it does, seems to me to be much more valuable. Very calmly, Danielle Raine presents housework as inevitable. What she does is tackle our attitudes towards it (and our excuses for not doing it). Do any of these ring a bell?

* Overwhelmed (there's too much to do)
* Injustice (why should I do it all?)
* Futility (it'll only get dirty again)
* No energy (I can't be bothered)
* Boredom (it's so monotonous)
* Inferiority (I'm no good at this)
* Superiority (it's a waste of my brain and talents)
* No motivation (I'd rather do something else)

And slowly slowly, I think perhaps I may be moving towards embracing it. Because there are chores which I do regard as a pleasure (hanging the washing on the line springs to mind). And it's a pity to waste so much energy being cranky about the jobs I love less.

Make peace with housework - sounds good, doesn't it? Are you at peace with yours?

Comments

[m]

Tick all those! I'm a Flylady failure, too - but I think all these systems work while the novelty lasts, then you get bored with them. Bit like diets, really.

[Julie]

well done you for giving blood - after that you definitely deserve a restful afternoon! As for making peace with housework - I like the sound of it but doubt I could stick at it for long (I follow you in the school of chipping off limescale chunks!)

[simone]

I almost fainted just reading about the blood! I would love to be a blood donor but have a blood phobia and would be more of a hindrance than a help. I don't mind certain housework jobs such as ironing, hanging up washing, hoovering, changing the bed etc but I despise cleaning the bathroom and dusting! I think the reason I dislike housework is that it never ends and my husband always manages to find the cobweb that I missed!!! x

[Amanda]

I can tick every single item on that list! I must buy that book. Off I go now to start on my manic 'the in-laws are coming' house clean. Sigh.

Well done for donating blood, I must get organised enough to go and register.

[UK lass in US]

Those excuses all sound pretty good to me, especially the last one. There are simply so many other better things to do than tidy a house (when you have kids that will have trashed it by 5 minutes later). Once a week is enough for me (while praying that no one will stop by in between...)

They won't let me donate blood over here - I think it's because of the Mad Cow disease thing that the UK had a while back.

[driftwood]

I should like to be like MAry Poppins, click my fingers and everything would tidy like magic x till then we have the loved in look.........

[driftwood]

that should say lived in.

[Pebbledash]

I have to confess to quite enjoying housework (shall I go now?!) but that doesn't mean my house is immaculate, far from it. It's just way easier to keep on top of it if you do it very regularly. For blood? Soak overnight in cold water, then wash at 40 degrees with an oxy bleach added. It will vanish! (no pun intended).

Hope you've recovered your strength after today's drama.

[Readersguide]

I don't like housework, either. It's a lot easier now that the kids are older/gone/not requiring as much attention. When you have to spend all day Saturday at soccer matches it's a little hard to spend all day Sunday vacuuming and dusting. But it is a lot easier to keep up with if you do it consistently --

[Jennifer]

What a scary time! I'm glad you're okay, though. I'm with you on housework... I love a clean home but not the work involved in getting it there. My houseproud mother really enjoyed cleaning, and luckily a few of her habits have stayed with me. It must have been difficult for her to have a packrat like me for a daughter ;)

(I love your kittycat! I would be happy to spend the afternoon lazing about with him? her?)

[Alice]

OK Ali...you and I need to have a little chat ... you may pretend that it was the exhaustion from losing so much blood combined with changing the sheets but we both know that it was the proximity to all those young men.

'fess up.

[lina]

Oh dear, what a light weight. I felt quite queasy reading this. Hope you've fully recovered. I do not enjoy housework at all (although like you washing on the line makes me strangely happy) but I do insist on clean counter tops and clean kitchen floors which turns out to be a lot of work on a daily basis around here. Dust and ironing on the other hand I can willingly ignore for weeks on end before feeling the urge to tackle them.

[jessica daisy]

Thanks for the tip, I ticked yes to all of those, I hate housework!
Jessx

[kelly]

i find that buying a new housework product usually inspires me to clean...nice feather duster...pretty bottle of method bath scrub...but the novelty soon wears off! i do love a spot of laundry though and it almost feels a treat to bring in the washing from the line and stand to (damp) iron it whilst listening to the archers : )

great to hear you are a blood donor. i have lazy blood...it always takes an age to come out! hope you are recovered...how lovely to have a puddy cat like that to give you some tlc. xX

[dottycookie]

I'm sorry, dripping blood all over the floor?! I hope they gace you extra biscuits. I used to donate platelets (apparently women are no longer allowed to be donors and I wonder why not) and remember clearly one time that I went and for some reason the vein they were using collapsed - leading to the biggest bruise I've ever had. I am due to give blood though, so thank you for the reminder.

As to the housework, mine just mocks me quietly. Everywhere I look this house is a mess, other than the two kitchen windowsills I cleared yesterday. I think we need to hire a skip, ditch everything and start again. That or I need to actually do some housework instead of spending time one the computer ...

[Petit Filoux]

Oh my I hope you feel better soon!! I haven't done very well with giving blood lately, because the firt two times I ended up pretty much passing out. Not great. The thought of blood pouring out afterwards makes me feel a little nauseous actually! And as to cleaning, it usually gets done properly when we have people coming around, then it's spotless. Otherwise, it's mainly superficial. But it's fine, we live with it and it's ok! That's what I tell myself ;-)

[sarah]

I've been told not to give blood because I kept fainting (what a wuss) but the thought of doing it in nice surroundings (with eye candy none the less?!!) makes it sound almost appealing, the place is Leeds I went to was a caravan...

I agree with you that the only good household job is hanging out the washing... as a soon-to-be wife I've been thinking about housework and wifely duties a bit recently. How all of a sudden the house work seems to've become my responsibility... but I'm wondering if I've taken it on myself!! That book looks interesting, maybe I'll get a copy for husband-to-be ;)

[Julia@kolo]

Giving blood tends to make me faint too, but I absolutely admire others who can; it is quite a vital gift.

RE housework - I've just discovered a use for my husband's OCD tendencies, if he does a chore a few times he never wants to give it up. Getting him to think something is a worthwhile task in the first place is another thing, but one step at a time...

[French Knots]

Bit of an extreme way to get extra biscuits and out of the cleaning! Hope you had a hearty dinner to build you up.
I like the house to be clean and tidy but as the other people who live here don't I'm fighting a loosing battle against muck and mess. With visitors coming at the weekend though I know what I'll be doing on Friday!

[Many A Mickle]

Hope you are feeling better. That book sounds worth reading - and I do like to throw money at a problem!

[TheMadHouse]

Well done on the giving blood, you neber know I might need some more of the red stuff! Cleaning I cope by being a FLY Lady, sad but true

[anna]

what a gorgeous cat :)

"Living in a clean house, I like. The tedium of the ongoing drudgery required to keep it that way, well count me out."

succinctly put. i agree! thanks for the book tip, i'll head over now and have a look. enjoy your restful afternoon.

[Scented Sweetpeas]

Personally unless I can write my name in the dust I don't find any satisfaction in dusting so I wait until then :-) Hope you get the blood stains out ok, well done for giving more blood than necessary :-)

[anne]

I am sooooooo not at peace with housework... and until my house is sorted out, I just cannot be bothered.. Lazy it seems but.. my husband has to DEJUNK... and until that is done I cannot move with plans...

[Gina]

Sometimes I think moving house would be easier than really tackling the housework! I always pass out when I give blood which tends to be dramatic but not serious. Lots of keeping me on my back with my legs in the air... very elegant!

[kristina]

I actually love housework! Strange but true. Good thing though, as I'm a complete neat freak and can't function unless everything is totally tidy.

Hope you're feeling fully recovered. That sounded quite scary! K x

[The Coffee Lady]

I love this post; and you're right about the housework. You know what an advocate of Flylady I am, and she addresses similar issues of injustice, being overwhelmed, and futility.

I don't like that website using just the word 'women' in it's header though. It's rubbing me up all the wrong way.

[Amaranthine]

I've definitely been there with the housework. Start with good intentions, get distracted, stop for about two weeks, repeat.
The last time I gave blood I had to take the smalls who were fascinated and kept prodding the bag and asking if they could get on the bed with me. Not so relaxing like that!

[Lucy Locket-Pocket]

Drippy blood? Ewwwww!

Housework? Double Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

A book that makes me think positively about housework? No that IS a good idea!

Off to find out more!

Lucy x

[Sew Create It - Jane]

I'm sooo with you on this one. Housework is a "sometimes" activity and I'm afraid I sit in the Futility camp. I would love to be better at it, but I'm not and I'm somewhat at peace about it. I do like a clean kitchen and bathroom, but I don't let dust get to me as it once did.

[Monica]

does the book mention a blood hemorrage (how do you spell that) as a good excuse not to do any work?

Actually, joke apart sounds like a good read.

Sigh. The unbearable inevitability of housework...

[Lesley]

That list is exactly the same as the one in my head!! Tick tick tick to every single one of them.

Your blood donating experience sounds horrendous and most worthy of an afternoon of rest and relaxation!

xx

[frances]

Oh, I feel overwhelmed by housework! But I love a clean house, so I keep trying. The older the boys get, the more I get them to do, so that helps, but I fear my house will never be as shiny as I'd like.

I'm not a squeamish girl, but that blood! I'm glad you rested this afternoon. And what a beautiful cat!

frances

[little pink room]

Sometimes it's nice to be a little bit ill. A guilt free excuse to stop and relax! Housework... I think I'm in the futility camp. I'm beginning to embrace it. Oh dear, I'm turning into my mother.

[Kitty]

Every one of those excuses rang a loud bell with me! Embrace housework though? :-O Are you sure?!

Hope your bleeding is all better now. x

[Monda]

After all the filing and shredding and sorting I've done this week, I'm definitely feeling 'no motivation' right now. Good job it's friday!

Hope you are feeling ok now? The last time I gave blood I had a dizzy spell when I saw the needle (I shouldn't have looked).

Monda
x

[Jo]

How long are you allowed to cite this medical advice? I'd go for at least a week.

I love the idea of that book. I shall buy it and put it on a shelf to gather some dust I think.

[Lucille]

I'm going to look at this book because I trust you and it might be an antidote to Home Comfort by Cheryl Mendelson which is an admirable tome but utterly overwhelming to contemplate putting into practice.

[Jacqui]

I remember springing a leak while donating blood once, right in front of someone who was there for the first time. I felt kind of bad about that, not to mention all the wasted blood!

[Megan]

First of all, total bummer about leaking blood. An afternoon off housework is the least you deserve.

Second, my jaw is sitting on the ground. No-one's articulated my loathing re. housework in quite this precise way before. It's weird how thrilled I am about that. Am off to order the book this second.

[Linda]

Wow -- this is me, for sure. And your post is very timely, as this is something I've been grappling with lately. I left my job (a career, really) two years ago so that I could tend to my ailing mother and young daughter. Ah, the Sandwich Generation!
Before I left my job, I imagined that once I didn't have full-time work to distract me, I would be organized and that the house would be decluttered and tidy.
Ha! What I discovered is that I simply cannot focus and just *get it done.* I could tick all those boxes, except the "injustice" one, as my husband certainly does more than his fair share.
I keep reading blogs and books dedicated to the pleasures of home-keeping and hope they will inspire me... although I love the idea of tending house and home, the reality is that I am a terrible, unmotivated, hopeless housekeeper.

[Tiel]

i am entirely on your side Ali. Infact yesterday, I was wanting to do all the nice, pretty things around my house. Like hang some paintings, pick some flowers from the garden, rearrange some soft furnishings. I like this side of housekeeping...but in order to do any of this I was required to step over the mountains of dirty clothes strewn on my stairwell and remove the other mountain of clean clothes from the spare bed. I spent my entire day doing all those horrible bits I really hate.

[skirmishofwit]

Oh poor you - how horrid! I think you're very brave - I would have fainted clean away and been a wreck for the rest of the day (am not very good when it comes to blood).

I can't stand things to be a mess or unclean so housekeeping is a daily task for me...but I think I have a long way to go before I can enjoy it!!

[Emma]

Oh yikes - I hope you recovered quickly and the lack of red stuff didn't leave you too knackered. I learnt at college, about two hundred years ago that the body's pretty efficient at making more when needed - it's kicks into gear almost straight away and the rest makes sure it can get up to full speed. I bet the cat enjoyed your company on the bed.

I detest the H word. Like you I love the effects of it but I usually leave it until it's definitely not suitable for visitors and then have that horrid feeling of catching up. The stitch in time thing never seems to infiltrate my head enough to actually do daily cleaning. I reward myself for the dreary bits by, like Tiel, picking a few flowers and rearranging prettyish bits and bobs. I just did a mad hour of dashing about doing superficial H before friends come. Crazy.

[Lynne]

I am so behind in my blog reading (don't even ask about blog writing) but this one has struck a chord on many levels.

Firstly the boys. My son goes to an all boys school (not a posh one though) and we were shown round by the sixth formers before he started last year. You are right - they never looked like that when I was 17 either. Oh to be young again!

Secondly the blood donoring. I too have sprung leaks, had a vein collapse and nearly fainted yet you've just reminded me that it's been too long and I should go back again.

And thirdly the housework. Yes, yes and yes to all of the above - I have so fallen off the flylady wagon it's untrue. I'm not surprised you're struggling though - it seems like your husband has been in India for an age now - has the ash worked in your favour and kept him at home for a few days this time?

[Lucy@Attic24]

Hi Ali
I remembered this post of yours and googled to find it yesterday as I'm feeling hugely overwhelmed by the state of my abode at present and wanted to be reminded that I am not alone.
Thankyou as always for your fabulous writing and insight, I really enjoy coming here. Don't often leave comments about the place these days but i am still a regular visitor to your patch.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Sara]

I am messy but I have no issues with that at all. The only thing I hate is pressure from other people - so when they come over, I feel like I have to tidy up. After they have gone, it drives me mad as I can't find anything! I like my messy home, it works for me.