Today was my book group meeting - we were discussing Somewhere Towards the End, a memoir from Diana Athill dealing with growing old. One of her quotes really struck me:
It can't only be my wardrobe that contains 'happy clothes' and things I pull out when I'd really like to crawl beneath the nearest rock. But recently, my personal vanities have centered more around hair and scent.
Scent, because the perfume I have relied upon to lift my spirits has been discontinued. Origins Fretnot. I'm sure it's the power of suggestion, but when the box says 'In times of confusion and concern, let nature's aromatic cheerleaders, including perky Tangerine, Orange and Lemon, rally your spirits and motivate your mood' you can't fail to feel uplifted.
I'm loyal to my perfume - pretty much a one scent at a time girl. Begining with Anais Anais (a gift from my brother when I was about 15) and phasing through Obsession, Chanel No19, Floris Malmaison and Eau Dynamisante. I didn't wear perfume at all when the boys were babies, but when I got back on the wagon, that Origins did it for me.
Being without a current fragrance leaves me slightly adrift - shopping the perfume counters is too much like speed dating - overwhelming and unsatisfying. It seems I need to encounter the right choice rather than seek it out. And perhaps it is this. Madonna of the Almonds.
Last night, Marina Fiorato had a return visit to the shop to read from her second novel, Madonna of the Almonds . As part of the marketing for the book (which is set in in 16th century Italy and was inspired by the back of an Amaretto bottle!), Marina had the opportunity to develop a perfume with Floris. I found the whole idea of that, totally fascinating and had asked her about it the last time she came. So I was thrilled when this visit, she brought a sample. It's good. It may be the one.
And my other current vanity? Hair. I have vaguely curly hair which is generally stuck, still wet from the shower, up in a clip and ignored. But the recent discovery of (whisper it) a patch of suspicious silvery members of the follicle gang has prompted action. I don't think I'll ever be committed enough to my appearance to contemplate colouring it. Too much upkeep. But perhaps I ought to have a final fling of enjoying my hair, before I go grey gracefully. So it's off to the hairdressers tomorrow.
Don't know exactly what to ask for - do you think 'something to savour the last moments of youth' is sufficient guidance?
i went grey at nineteen when I was at uni and I have had to dye my hair for the last 20 years. Your hair looks beautiful by the way - so don't be tempted to go too far. I saw a woman this week in Bristol who must have been about 30 and had completely grey hair - it was unbelievably striking!! She had red lipstick on and I thought - "how brave!". I wish we could embrace natural ageing gracefully - pah - it will never happen!
Good luck!
Posted by: claire | 20 May 2009 at 20:26
It's not much fun seeing the signs of getting older when you feel the same inside. But I'm certainly much happier with the way I look since I let my hair go grey. Put on your perfume, a bit of lippy and grow old disgracefully! Your hair looks great by the way!
Posted by: Gina | 20 May 2009 at 20:39
You have such lovely hair: you shouldn't even think about coloring it!
And the scent sounds quite intriguing. My favorite is Diptyque Philosykos, but unfortunately G doesn't like it... K x
Posted by: kristina | 20 May 2009 at 20:57
One of the best pieces of advice I had as a teenager was from my lovely cousin in Bendigo. She told me to go and spend a day in the David Jones perfumery department (think Selfridges or John Lewis) trying our perfumes to find the one that was me.
A lovely way to spend an afternoon as inbetween scent sniffing I got to shop!
Posted by: trashalou | 20 May 2009 at 21:09
Do you think every teenager starts on Anais Anais as ther first perfume? I certainly did! I also coloured my hair in my mid twenties, a rather 'vibrant' shade of reddish purple. Hmmm. I have always been jealous of your curly locks though so don't go too short...
Posted by: Kathryn | 20 May 2009 at 21:11
I have some sprouting grey bits....I'm trying to ease myself out of the habit of pulling them out if I'm sitting in the car idling in a traffic jam. They seem to grow back coarser..... I'm far too lazy to think about colour and the ongoing maintenance.
Hey ho!
Posted by: Pebbledash | 20 May 2009 at 21:47
I could do with some advice on happy clothes. I seem to have a lot of meh ones
Posted by: The Coffee Lady | 20 May 2009 at 22:04
Ali... you look very young! I don't think you need worry about the last flushes of youth just yet ... !! xx
Posted by: juliab | 20 May 2009 at 22:33
'Don't grow old grey-cefully' was advice given to me by a lovely lady I know.She has been grey for aslong as I've known her and she says it's the only thing she ever regrets. It would be too much of a change now.
I have a few greys now and know I'll have to get a little more bothered soon!
Perfume wise I'm into the blue Ghost for days and Chanel for evenings.
Posted by: Kristy | 20 May 2009 at 22:45
That almond perfume sounds fascinating and delicious. I love a scent with a bit of history or story to it. Like you, I'm not currently wearing perfume as I have young babies, but I used to like wearing the scent of fig.
Posted by: pinry | 20 May 2009 at 23:46
When I worked, I had happy clothes, and be-the-professional clothes. Being a home dayce mom means having just two types: clean and puked on.
I fully believe in approaching old age kicking and screaming and bracing hard against the doorjam. If you want to color your hair go for it. Turquoise if that's what you want for your otherly colored strands! Stay out of the sun to protect your skin. Eat and exercise moderately. Laugh often. Be comfortable in your own skin.
Posted by: LizAnderson | 21 May 2009 at 01:28
I'm completely grey these days :)
It's quite liberating in some ways actually. Your soft curls are beautiful.
Posted by: suse | 21 May 2009 at 02:56
I have been finding 'blonde' hairs in amongst mine for some time now. Bit of a shocker at first, but I'm used to it now. You in no way look old, and you have lovely hair. So there. x
Posted by: Kitty | 21 May 2009 at 08:11
If your hairdresser is our age, as opposed to a youngster who thinks anyone over 30 is ancient, then they'll know what you mean!
I first had White Musk from the Body Shop before moving on to Obsession and Safari, oh the overpowering perfume I inflicted on everyone! These days I like Jo Malone's Lime Basil and Mandarin.
Posted by: French Knots | 21 May 2009 at 09:41
I love a bit of silvery bling in my hair. I do colour it but nothing to full on so the bling shines through!!!
As for perfume - i am a bit of an addict but finally seem to have found the one that people say is mine - Molecule 001 (or something like that)...
Posted by: mary | 21 May 2009 at 12:08
What a lovely perfume story - such a pretty name for a perfume too. I really hope it is the one. It brought back memories of when I lived in the UK in the early nineties and the men I worked with gave me some very pretty Floris perfume - I had forgotten about that. These days I go for anything with a bit of vanilla in it. Your hair is gorgeous!
Posted by: Louise | 21 May 2009 at 13:22
I'm caught in the upkeep trap of hiding the sparkly bits...the dilemma is how to escape or spending 2 hours in the hairdressers every month (which I secretly enjoy, especially the head massage!)
On the subject of perfume, the only one for me is Jo Malone 'Vintage Gardenia' it's divine.
Posted by: Dragonfly | 21 May 2009 at 14:51
Anais Anais was my first perfume too ... though my signature scent is Nina Ricci's Deci Dela for evenings (recently spotted on eBay as I haven't found anywhere else to get it!) with Eau Dynamisante for days ... a handy hint I learnt in a Parisian perfumery is to have a small sachet of coffee granules with you ... it neutralises your nose if you smell these between sniffs of scent!
And I don't mind the odd streak of silver ... it's the texture of it that I can't bear!
Posted by: Julie Nelson Rhodes | 21 May 2009 at 15:13
I'm really bad about making appointments, so my last hair cut was almost 2 years ago. Colouring their greys is probably best left to people who actually know their hairdresser's name...
It's a little annoying knowing that I'll probably be the ONLY woman in Southern California greying gracefully. While still in my 30s. Going grey while my mother-in-law looks like she sports a head of brown hair. Pah.
Posted by: UK lass in US | 21 May 2009 at 15:21
Ali, I LOVE this post on so many levels! My hair is grey...has been since my middle 30's. I am not even trying to grow old gracefully...it just comes naturally...what else can you do? And I ALWAYS want to smell good not matter how old I am...my scent forever has been Jessica McClintock. I don't know about you but I LOVE smile wrinkles on women as they age...I mean they're from SMILES so how can that not be BEAUTIFUL??? It's freeing looking in the mirror and finally loving and accepting the woman who is looking back at you. Anyway...if you want to...come visit me at my blog and see for yourself. And thank you for this beautiful thought-provoking post, dear lady. Now, I must go check out the book you mentioned...sounds like something I would love to read!
Posted by: cathleen | 21 May 2009 at 18:22
Gosh I've been going grey for ages but I'm fighting it! I spend a LOT of time with my hairdresser!
Posted by: lazylol | 21 May 2009 at 19:19
your hair looks really pretty and i can't see any grey from the photo... i have a strong streak of grey now down one side and have had my hair cut a little shorter which helps it look less 'witchy'. lush do a henna block which is more natural and will fade rather than grow out. i may give it a go at some stage.
Posted by: ginny | 21 May 2009 at 19:40
Grey hairs?? My hairdresser told me they were natural highlights. That is why I pay him so much.
Posted by: Alice C | 21 May 2009 at 22:02
You have beautiful hair. Mine is also wavy which is a nightmare in this rain and I am also tending to put it up in a clip otherwise I start to look like Farah Fawcett as it pings back to being wavy after being dryed fairly straight.
I am also a one perfume person - Channel Chance for about the last 6 years so I can understand your dilemma on choosing a new one. I haven't had a sniff of the Floris one but the idea of it being linked with the book sounds lovely.
Can't wait to see what you do with your hair.
Have a great weekend
Posted by: Thimbleina | 22 May 2009 at 07:19
I've been asking the hairdresser for "'something to savour the last moments of youth' is sufficient guidance?" for years, although I certainly haven't been putting it so eloquently.
Very sad news on the perfume, I hate when things are discontinued, that happens with my lipstick every few years and oh, the trauma of having to choose a new, perfect, everyday lipstick.
Posted by: Rebecca | 22 May 2009 at 13:55
I have been going grey for a long time. I once said when I turn 40 I will stop colouring it but I changed my mind... it is a bother and I think I would like to make the transition but how do you do that gracefully? Chop it all off short and then grow it out again?
Such things.
I never did figure out what the image of the iron was all about.
Posted by: Ramona | 22 May 2009 at 14:47
Your hair looked lovely in the shop this afternoon!
I'm afraid I've dyed mine for years, but these days I use a shade very similar to my own so it looks very natural, having gone through a blonde phase, then a brunette one, I'm now back to mid-brown but with a slight auburn hint.
I love floral perfumes, and am rather taken with Marc Jacob's new one - Daisy. On the very rare occasions I want to feel sophisticated I have a bottle of 'Boudoir' by Vivienne Westwood which is rather medicinal.
Posted by: Annabel | 22 May 2009 at 15:46
You hair is lovely. No grey hair insight.
I think men 'start' to look good at 40 (look at Hugh Jacksman)and us females 'start' to look lovely at 30. So we must learn to love ourselves....hee hee hee... I know I do....then other people will love us too.
Posted by: Mary | 22 May 2009 at 21:24
I love the sound of that perfume. In the last 2 years I have started to find whispers of silver and after a short bout in hospital last year it increased dramatically. I'd thought about going silver gracefully but do you know what, I ran to the hairdressers as soon as I could!
Posted by: two hippos | 23 May 2009 at 08:20
That perfume sounds lovely. You're so lucky to have natural curls. I have natural frizz, which just ends up twisted up in a knot most days, mum-style. I manage the hairdressers about once a year - my last instruction was to make me look like my hair was deliberately long rather than like I lived in a tent, and that seemed to work!
Posted by: Helen | 23 May 2009 at 21:10
Found my first grey hair the day before my 30th birthday! Was horrified. Vowed i would never colour it. It was long to my waist then. Am now 44 and it is short and coloured (at home-cant afford salon prices) but also curly, which is a bonus I think.
My advice... enjoy it long as long as you can, never say never about enhancing the colour! Start worrying when you find a grey one down south, you are definitely getting old then!!!!!!
Posted by: Claire | 23 May 2009 at 23:06
Your hair is beautiful!
My perfume being discontinued has been a big fear of mine, as it's basically the only one I've ever worn. I've thought of strategies to combat that, like putting aside money in my savings account and using it to buy all the remaining bottles should they decided to discontinue my scent, but somehow that just doesn't seem realistic. ;)
Posted by: Katherine | 24 May 2009 at 04:28
your hair looks beautiful! I would love to be able to scoop mine up and tie it back.
Have you checked out Jo Malones perfumes? None of them are too 'perfumey' if that makes sense, and have some beautiful scents.
Posted by: Anna | 24 May 2009 at 20:56
You're so cute -- "something to savour the last moments of youth" just made me smile. Yes -- savor every moment. Once the grey starts, it attacks with a vengance. You new perfume sounds lovely!
Posted by: Thimbleanna | 25 May 2009 at 00:25
I think we have similar curls. Here in the humidity my hair gets quite 'wavy' and yes, I too have discovered a more mature colour coming through. I've decided to grow my hair for as long as I can pull it off, because I don't think I can bare colouring it as I get older. I hope you were happy with the results.
Posted by: Tiel | 27 May 2009 at 03:33