Mother's Day

I was thinking back today, to my very first Mother's Day with a child. Mark would have been around 6 months old and wasn't a good sleeper. Hubby was commuting and away from home for 12 hour plus days. I was a zombie and becoming increasingly aware of the fact that I had no idea whatsoever of how to be a mother.

And 8 years and another baby later and our parenting style can still often be described as a mixture of 'fly by the seat of your pants' and frenzied firefighting. Though mercifully these days, sleep is in better supply.

I wonder if a moment will ever come, when Mother's Day doesn't have me feeling like a bit of a phony. Because the real Mum is, of course, my mother. And these flowers are for her. Happy Mother's Day Mum.

Comments

[Michelle]

What a sweet and funny post, Ali. You are no phony, you're one of the greatest - easy to see that just by looking into your sons' eyes. And aren't we all a bit "fly by the seat of our pants?" Let's just call it "flexible." Happy Mother's Day.

[kristina]

Happy Mother's Day! And never think for one minute you're anything less than brilliant :) K x

[jenny]

I always look at other women my age who are 'natural mothers' and I wonder how they do it! How do they make everything work so smoothly and calmly? Why does everything I do look jerky and over thought? LOL ... mind you the children don't seem to have suffered from my odd parenting style! Happy Mother's Day....I have to wait a little while for the Australian Mother's Day to roll around.

[Gina]

I think that it's hard to appreciate who we are when we're in the thick of it, but you are every bit as much of a Mum as your own Mum... and a lovely one too by the sound of it! x

[LizAndrsn]

Can you bear a bit more?
I'm a Professional Family Childcare Provider. Parents tell me I make it all look easy, when the fact is simply the opposite. Kids don't come with instructions, and all that society expects and tolerates changes at a rapid rate. Find your own comfort level -- and don't appologize for it. Give up the idea that you have to be Super Mom -- that's some bogus marketing plan to make women do more (so men can slack off).

[misschris]

Happy Mother's Day, Ali (super mom). Don't kid yourself. You're a rock star. :)

[melissa]

ha- that's funny. i've always thought of you as being one of those mums i really look up to. you seem so thoughtful and 'on to it' (as we'd say in n.z.)
happy mothers day to you- and your mum!

p.s. i never left a comment last week about your japanese tunic- i LOVE it! i think it looks better without the sleeves... (i might have to copy you).

[Kitty]

Awww, I'm sure you do just fine. We all have to do it 'our way' don't we? I know my way isn't a textbook way, but I'm afraid I don't think I can 'do' textbook.

Couldn't agree with you more on the last point though - the real mothers are our own mothers.

x

[dottycookie]

Oh Ali, your children obviously adore you, and at the end of the day what else does a mum need?

[suzie sews]

its funny how us younger Moms still view Mothers day for our Mothers and not for us. Fly by the seat of your pants parenting ... works for me!!!!

[Emma]

Ali, I expect you're being very harsh on yourself. I know I muddle through, question everything and decide I get a fair bit wrong. Doesn't everyone do this? To your children you are THE mum xx

[Helen]

Lovely post (and beautiful peonies!). I'm firmly in the haphazard parenting camp. I felt a bit of a fraud last year when my mum sent me a text saying 'happy mother's day to the best mother in the world' - if I'm even half as good a mother as she is I'll be doing well!

[Thimbleanna]

Ahhh, yes, that day will come. You've brought a big smile to my face in remembering that for so long I felt like the real mum was my own mother. I think it came for me sometime around when my boys were turning into alien teenagers -- it just made me feel a bit older and more motherly! Beautiful flowers!

[Julia]

Lovely sentiments Ali. I recognise all that you say. I've no idea what a good mother does. Sometimes I think that all you can really do (apart from the paractical things of always knowing where their socks are ) is be there as someone to talk to and rely upon.

[Thimbleina]

I think that is the phrase to be used for most of my life, not just parenting 'fly by the seat of my pants' or with parenting just 'throwing me in at the deep end and hoping I can swim' sometimes I think I'm doing a lot of doggy paddle and getting nowhere very fast!

Hope you had a great Mother's day - I think you are a wonderful mother - don't undersell yourself

[Simmy]

Ali, surely you're every bit a Mother as your Mother is.

Mother's Day is not a day when we're judged for our parenting style or lack of it. It's a day when the children acknowledge everything we do and say thank you.

It's a day when they give back to you and make you feel special. It's your turn for a change so sit back and enjoy it. Stop feeling guilty.

[UK lass in US]

Isn't fly by the seat of your pants and frenzied firefighting the correct way?

I think the mums that make it look easy are the ones doing a poor job, as they're not preparing their kids for the real world... or something like that.

[Claudia]

Happy Mother's Day Ali!
You rock! You are the best! Don't forget it :)

[Ros]

HI Ali
Thanks for your comments.
I love your mothers's day flowers.
Hope you had a nice day.I didn't fully appreciate the unconditional love of mothers until I had my own daughters.

[Tiel]

and I think birthdays are a little the same.

Knowing what it is like to have physically have a child now has changed my view about my own birthday. It should be a day to thank my mum for her pain and courage.

but I'll say it anyway, Happy late Mother's day...a little late!!!

[Isabelle]

I've been doing it for nearly 30 years and I still feel a fraud as a mother. Or as an adult, come to that. I'm just a young thing. Ahem.