And just like that, we find ourselves at the end of another year. Time to look back, to take stock, to figure out what is going to be different and better about the year to come. I've always been a bit of a planner - perhaps it's the map-lover in me, but somehow knowing where you intend to go is a great comfort - even if you do veer off piste for a scenic detour or two. Comfort in knowing that there is, indeed, a plan.
I had a plan for 2016 - and then I caught sight of another road and it looked intriguing and I headed off on a detour, which turned out to be an unexpectedly big hill which I found myself hurtling down. And everything got faster and faster and I couldn't find my brakes for the longest time.
Finally, there was a lay-by where I found the courage to look around, and admit to myself that I didn't much care for where I was. That was tough. I don't like making mistakes and I'm not very keen on giving up either. But it turns out there was a gap in the hedge and the reality of scrambling back through was much less painful than I had feared it might be. And my original road was there, waiting for me. And it wasn't a rut. I'm not sorry I took my scenic detour this year, but I am pleased to be back in the driving seat on my own route.
When I contemplate the year ahead though, I'll admit to feeling a bit lost - the plans for moving forward seem slow to come. I've lost a bit of self-confidence - somehow I feel smaller, more vulnerable and less sure of my own decisions. I'm wary of the map and its limitless possibilities. perhaps it's good to just be still for a while and look around until the ground feels firmer underfoot. And be here a bit more - yes, that sounds like a plan enough for now.