The phone rang this evening and when I answered it, there was a man with my name and address who knew that we had had a (very minor) car accident the other week. He wanted me to tell him the name of the person involved in the crash.
In the past couple of weeks, I have spent a disproportionate amount of time on the telephone dealing with this. It should have been so straightforward - someone ran a give way sign and hit the side of hubby's car. The lady was terribly apologetic, properly insured and happy to admit liability. Problem solved. But these things are always a hassle to sort out. Not least because hubby made the claim and then disappeared off to Australia leaving me to sort out the repair and getting a hire car. But no matter. Accidents happen, right. They are a pain to deal with, but it was all very low speed and nobody was hurt.
So why, does some company want to know the name of the person involved so that they can make an automatic claim for whiplash compensation. Which would be delivered straight to our door. And double why, when I decline to play along, does the person from the call centre far, far away feel intitled to snap "The hell with you" and hang up on me.
And the biggest mystery of all is why I end up sitting here feeling teary about it. I'm clearly in need of thicker skin today.
I'm really sorry to hear about it. No-one should make anyone else feel like you do now. You can at least compensate yourself by bearing in mind,who would you rather be - them or yourself? I know how disturbing these things can be but it is only the result of sensitivity to your fellow mankind which you are much better off having.The same sensitivity which results in your truly fabulous photographs. The idea of taking a picture of a washing line at night was teriffic.
Posted by: Lema | 11 February 2011 at 18:06
Oh - that's not good. perhaps it's the time of year, perhaps February breeds vulnerability - or perhaps the man was too darn nasty!
Posted by: Karen | 11 February 2011 at 18:19
As I presume you have reported this to your insurers, all you have to do is tell the noxious caller to speak to them. The fact that the woman admitted liability doesn't mean she can't change her mind, although if she ran a give way sign she won't get anywhere if the case came to court. When the time comes for the other driver's legal rep (probably not a solicitor)to serve the erroneous proceedings for the 'whiplash' this may have to be sent directly to your husband, but all you do is send all the papers on to your insurer and let them deal with it. There is no way of stopping these vultures but they cannot win. If on the other hand the call did come from a solicitors firm (even if the person who rang you was not a solicitor)you can make a complaint to the Law Society - they should not allow their staff to be so rude
Posted by: Catherine | 11 February 2011 at 18:31
It's disturbing that some company can call you up like that with details and want you to make a claim ... where do they get them I wonder? It feels a bit creepy.
I am sure I would have felt teary too. I'm not sure whether you need a thicker skin as it seems like a perfectly reasonable reaction.
xxx
Posted by: Heather | 11 February 2011 at 18:36
oh how horrid, there is no need for such nastiness. do you have the firms name, and his name, I hope you can report them somehow. trading standards?
Posted by: driftwood | 11 February 2011 at 18:37
I think it would have made me feel teary too. You just have to remember they are nasty and you are not. x
Posted by: Gina | 11 February 2011 at 18:54
I hate call centres, even if you're being reasonable they can in some cases be so rude, and that can be upsetting. Good luck with it.
On a seperate much nicer note, I've been enjoying your lovely photos and have name dropped you over at mine, thank you.
Posted by: mandy | 11 February 2011 at 18:57
That sounded like a slightly dodgy call to me - a company piggybacking on some ill-gotten knowledge. It's ace that you stood your ground, despite having to run the snappish gauntlet lobbed at you.
Maybe you need a glass of wine, a film/some music, a quilt and some comfort food. At those kind of moments I order in curry and get straight in my pjs.
Posted by: Emma | 11 February 2011 at 19:00
I second Emma, a glass of wine and a film. A great solution for all unwanted callers.
Posted by: Amanda | 11 February 2011 at 19:36
Oh, goodness... it would make me feel the same... what's the worst is that these people can make you feel like this in your own home when you were just going about your thing and didn't ask them to intrude. I get this all the time.
To hell with THEM!
x
Posted by: Fancy Elastic | 11 February 2011 at 19:39
Oh Ali, that's horrible. Poor you. It's odd how some days that kind of exchange would feel odd but not upsetting and on others it can suddenly make you feel like your shell is too thin and the wind is blowing through you.
Wishing you a happier weekend full of kind people.
x
Posted by: Florence | 11 February 2011 at 19:49
oh, darn, I'm sorry, Ali! these things are always such a pain. my hubby was rear-ended a few years ago and while it was not at all his fault, we definitely suffered. so unfair when it wasn't our fault! why do they make it so hard?
oh yeah, the answer is always: money.
Posted by: kirsten | 11 February 2011 at 20:28
What a nasty piece of work - I'd have felt weepy too.
On a semi related note my hubby once sat all the way through one of those recorded cold calls so that he could speak to someone on the other end and tell them that we're on the TPS and they had broken the law by calling us. The chap stated very aggressively that since he was in the US our ****ing laws didn't ****ing apply to him and that he was going to come over and kick my huasband's ****ing bottom. Some people are all charm.
Posted by: dottycookie | 11 February 2011 at 20:48
That's horrid. Someone ran across the road in front of me today as I was pulling away from a crossing - light in my favour, then shouted a load of abuse and it really upset me for the rest of the afternoon. Hope you are feeling better now.
Posted by: Jane | 11 February 2011 at 21:22
I can't imagine reacting any OTHER way - that kind of call is intrusive, abusive and downright creepy. Sort of makes you want to wash your telephone.
Hope the negative energy has dissipated and you're feeling better.
Posted by: Lynn | 11 February 2011 at 21:46
I would feel and react in exactly the same way. I am sorry this has happened. It's like being blind-sided and violated all in the same instance. It stinks.
Posted by: ellen kelley | 11 February 2011 at 22:11
Money grabbing gits, what has this world come to! ggrr people like that get right under my skin, don't get the greedy ignorant man get to you. x
Posted by: scentedsweetpeas | 11 February 2011 at 22:12
Yuk yuk yuk. Isn't it amazing how rude people are happy to be when they are not actually having to face you? Stand tall, safe in the knowledge you are right - and certainly much nicer than the person on the other end of the phone.
Posted by: Amaranthine | 11 February 2011 at 22:27
yes, a glass of wine is in order! i'd feel the same way as you, but in a few days the ick will subside...
Posted by: jen : painted fish studio | 11 February 2011 at 22:50
Awww. Hate that. But I'd pursue it a tad further and contact that claim co and complain about that attitude. Totally unacceptable! Stand up for people who don't have all of us to cheer you up. . . Righteous indignation has its place and its place is in your heart at this moment! Speak up! At least send an email with date, time, etc. COULD turn out that it's not even a legit. call. . . But purge that bad feeling and lodge a complaint.
**Hang in there, too. **
Posted by: Rebecca | 11 February 2011 at 22:59
Next time someone like that phones just transfer the call to me. I can assure you that my 'Cold Caller' telephone manner withers the most obnoxious people into tiny little mushrooms who apologise for wasting my time.
As they should.
Posted by: Alice C | 11 February 2011 at 23:14
Yep, had a call centre hang/grump at me yesterday. And it obviously had to be in the middle of the week of dispute with tax Office over 2007/8- hello!! Tears before bedtime here definitely!
Posted by: magsmcc | 11 February 2011 at 23:20
Sorry to hear he made you teary Ali. As a fellow sensitive soul and overthinker a thoughtless, unkind or cruel comment would have the same effect on me too.
Posted by: lina | 12 February 2011 at 01:17
We have the same sort of problem over here -- we call them ambulance chasers. Sorry he made you feel so awful. By now a new day will soon dawn where you are, and I hope it will be MUCH better!
Posted by: Thimbleanna | 12 February 2011 at 02:34
Yeah, to hell with them. And good job you. A backbone is a wonderful attribute.
Posted by: Megan | 12 February 2011 at 06:27
I always develop an incredibly thin skin in situations like these too, so you are far from alone. I have to confess that with caller id I rarely answer the phone to numbers I don't recognise, are international or blocked!
Posted by: Dragonfly | 12 February 2011 at 06:43
How unprofessional......and very strange !
I hope your day took a turn for the better after that...
Posted by: jodie | 12 February 2011 at 06:53
Not what you need on top of the hassle of sorting it out and solo parenting. It's creepy how total strangers could know personal info and to invade your privacy at home is bound to be upsetting. What a tosser!
We have had a spate of cold calls recently and I alway tell them they are breaking the law by calling as we are registered with the TPS.
My husband has a different approach which always makes me chuckle, he chats to the cold caller, tells them he sells mobile phones ( which he doesn't) they usually say they can't talk about it as they are at work,my husband says he'll ring them later at home and they say something about not wanting calls at home....gotcha!!
Posted by: French Knots | 12 February 2011 at 07:59
How rude of them. Don't let them get to you. Hope you are feeling better x
Posted by: lazylol | 12 February 2011 at 08:07
That's an appalling way to be spoken too. Don't be too hard on yourself I think I would have probably been a bit shaken to have been spoken to like that with all the other stuff you've had to deal with too.
Hope you have a good weekend and indulge in something very treaty!
Lisa x
Posted by: Lisa | 12 February 2011 at 09:08
How rude! Hope you are feeling better about the situation now. I'm sure the person put the phone down and felt rightly guilty about what they'd said.
We had the loss adjuster visit yesterday and it was very painful to have him go round our house opening cupboards and having to justify why we had the things that were stolen. I'll be glad when this is all sewn up. x
Posted by: PinkCat | 12 February 2011 at 11:12
Sorry to hear about your accident and troubles - how horrible to have such a call from this person. It's so hard to be thick-skinned though and you don't really want to be but I hope you feel better now.
Posted by: Louise | 12 February 2011 at 13:32
call back and ask to speak to the manager and tell him/her about this verbal abuse.
I think this might be more common in the U.K. While customer service here in the U.S. is somewhat mixed I have never encountered outright abuse. Maybe the reason is that before you speak to anyone you are told that the call is monitored "for quality purposes"
Is that the same where you are ?
Posted by: lizzie | 12 February 2011 at 14:13
What a horrid situation Ali - I'm not surprised you felt teary. You don't need a thicker skin - I think your reaction is perfectly normal. Lucy xx
Posted by: lucylocket | 12 February 2011 at 14:50
you know, the person on the end of the phone is probably having a crappity crap time in his life and taking it out on you. Very unprofessional.
Feeling teary is ok though, it may just be a bit of stress that needed to work it's way out
Monda
x
Posted by: Monda | 12 February 2011 at 17:03
Are you sure it wasn't coincidental/luck on their part? We had a 'phone call from a company just yesterday wanting details of a recent accident that didn't exist.
We all get a little weepy sometimes, it's because we care.
Hx
Posted by: Heather | 12 February 2011 at 17:29
Since Mr Moog's accident almost two years ago we've about had our fill of insurance companies and claims people. I know exactly how you feel.
We're still waiting for his claim to be sorted. I'm totally anti this litigious society of ours but having seen my husband go through a nightmare while the person who caused the accident got a slap on the wrist and a brand new car, I do feel he deserves something.
As for that person on the other end of the phone - they should be ashamed of themselves and I do hope they were recording the call 'for training purposes'!
xxx
Posted by: Lesley | 12 February 2011 at 18:43
Gits.
Don't go thinking about getting thicker skin though, think how uncomfortable all your waistbands will be...
Ax
Posted by: Magic Bean | 12 February 2011 at 19:12
So sorry to hear about this. I hope all the sweet comments help make you feel better. And the glass of wine Emma suggested can't hurt either.
Hugs from here
Posted by: Adriana | 12 February 2011 at 20:41
Darn and drat blooming, bloomers.
It's not you just the weird and tangled world we live in. Deep breath - these things are sent to try us. Really, really try us.
take care,
Nina xxx
Posted by: nina - tabiboo | 13 February 2011 at 09:59
Oh poor you. Sometimes these things just bother us, especially if it's been a lot of hassle and someone is unnecessarily rude!
Posted by: domestikate | 13 February 2011 at 10:55
Sounds like a case of small man syndrome to me. Don't let it get you down. He's probably got a very small .... bonus this year hence the pressure ;-)
Posted by: Pen at Oliver Boliver | 13 February 2011 at 14:48
There's nothing worse than strangers being unnecessarily rude - it reduces me to tears everytime it happens. I think it must shake our faith in humanity a little.
I hope all this unpleasantness is sorted out soon, Helen.xx
Posted by: Helen | 13 February 2011 at 15:53
I think that the teariness is just the shock. I've done dopey things like intervene in fights, strode right on over when I saw a man hit his wife etc. but still found myself fighting back the tears at the gym recently.
A bloke had been complaining, but in an ok enough manner, but when I suggested that his complaint wasn't warranted, as there were still some open slots so people didn't need to be waiting, he came out with 'b*tch, shut up!' and 'f off'. I'm still kicking myself for not telling the staff, but instead I found myself shaking and fighting back the tears for the rest of my swim.
I think that it is the shock when they suddenly turn more than the words themselves. Good luck with dealing with all the hassle.
Posted by: UK lass in US | 13 February 2011 at 17:29
Oh what a g*t. And it's not nice to end up feeling like that, even knowing that the person on the other end is the one being rude and selfish and the rest of it. Hope your weekend got better!
Posted by: Jannette | 13 February 2011 at 20:43
no way!!! that is SO rude!!
I hate confrontations and would have been left crying too so I totally get that... still ok for Saturday? you vent your anger with your Visa!!
Posted by: Monica | 14 February 2011 at 13:37
Well done for sticking to your guns...you should never ever feel you need to give out your details to anyone on the phone...no matter how bad they make you feel.
Posted by: Sew Create It - Jane | 14 February 2011 at 20:52
Bummer! Dealing with all that car stuff is such a headache. I've just been going through it, too, for a very minor accident. Sorry you have to deal with it, but glad you're feeling better about it all now!
Posted by: Katherine | 15 February 2011 at 17:21