This boy-child of mine turned 10 today. Ten. I am still not sure how that happened.
It's a funny thing, the birthdays of children - particularly significant ones. And Mark keeps reminding me that double-digits is a very meaningful landmark.
Part of me believes that the milestone is his alone and yet I know that his narrative is a portion of my own. Or at least some of it - the part that he shares with me and the pieces of family life we lead as a unit and not as individuals.
Any mother has a deep sense of who their child is. But it strikes me that as they grow older, this is based on less and less tangible evidence. A function of their fuller lives and their need to develop independence from us.
When Mark was small, he didn't sleep and he craved constant interaction. I spent hour upon hour pacing the swirly grey carpet. Singing, rocking him, reading to him. It was exhausting to the point that I completely lost the ability to see the bigger picture. And I was at a pretty low ebb, when a woman named Janice gave me the gift of her wisdom. She told me that in these hours, these endless extra hours that I spent with him, I would receive the gift of really knowing my child.
I know this boy, and I find myself willing that over the next ten years, that there are enough glimpses into his existence as an individual for me to continue to know him. It is, indeed, a privilege.
happy birthday!
10 is indeed a big birthday.
Posted by: janet clare | 01 October 2010 at 18:41
Happy Birthday to your very grown up boy. What a wonderfully evocative photo you've taken of him.
Posted by: dottycookie | 01 October 2010 at 19:06
Happy birthday to Mark! Have a wonderful weekend of celebrations!
Posted by: Louise | 01 October 2010 at 19:21
what a beautiful post.
i think i can say that i know my toddler son now, through the sheer amount of time we spend together, but i hope that i can say the same as you in 8 years or so.
Posted by: anna | 01 October 2010 at 19:27
Oh my, oh my, ten years, how does it happen indeed? It is terrifying to watch them become more and more independent and like you my great hope is that I can continue to know my boy.
Beautiful photograph of him Ali and of course, very many Happy Returns to that lovely boy.
Posted by: Rebecca | 01 October 2010 at 19:33
Happy Birthday to your lovely boy. My "baby" turns 18 on Sunday and I really don't know how that happened (especially when his eldest brother is 28 the following week)
Posted by: Gina | 01 October 2010 at 19:55
A beautiful boy he is too. Where does the time go?
Posted by: simone | 01 October 2010 at 20:20
Happy double digits Mark. We're celebrating Amy's 11th birthday on Sunday - obviously a good weekend for birthdays! Ali, I hope you get your wish. I have a feeling that you will - you're such a special Mum that I'm sure he'll keep you close even as a grown man.
Posted by: Julie | 01 October 2010 at 20:37
Beautifully written, Ali. And happy, happy birthday to Mark!
Posted by: domestikate | 01 October 2010 at 21:04
Ooh, drink him in Ali - my son is approaching twelve and there are now two hims - the wonderfully affectionate baby boy who still loves cuddles and then this newly emerging 'independent' him which I'm not sure I'm ready for!!
Hx
Posted by: Heather | 01 October 2010 at 21:36
My younger sun was six today! How I love this post- so beautifully put!
Posted by: magsmcc | 01 October 2010 at 21:39
Happy Birthday, Mark! All so beautifully said. And he does look so grown up in that picture!
Posted by: kristina | 01 October 2010 at 21:55
A very Happy Birthday to your young man. That is a wonderful photo of him; I feel I can see what he will look like when he is an adult.
Posted by: Jennifer | 01 October 2010 at 22:10
What a beautiful photo and very poignant post. My boy's only six months old and already I'm acutely aware of the passing of time.
May we always remember what a privilege it is to know our children.
Posted by: Helen | 01 October 2010 at 22:11
My son was 10 a few weeks ago, a bit scary isn't it :-( They grow more independent and there is no stopping that but we will always be there for them :-). What a gorgeous looking lad he is too.
Posted by: Scented Sweetpeas | 01 October 2010 at 22:36
Happy Birthday Mark! I can't believe how grown up he looks!
Thank you, Ali, for putting so beautifully into words those feelings we all have for our children! xx
Posted by: Karen | 01 October 2010 at 23:34
Happy happy birthday!! What a lovely post! Though, I have to laugh, since I saw the title in my reader, I've had Robots by the Flights of the Conchords stuck in my heard (there is a binary solo towards the end of the song...v funny!)
Posted by: Slugs On The Refrigerator | 02 October 2010 at 00:02
Wow, he's so handsome!
Beautifully written Ali. That Janice was a wise lady.
Posted by: Autum | 02 October 2010 at 01:27
Happy Birthday to him!
It goes so fast - the anticipation of what lies ahead, mixed with sweet memories of what has past and the knowledge that time is going by all too swiftly.
Posted by: UK lass in US | 02 October 2010 at 03:20
You had me all teary. Thanks for sharing the wisdom and a very happy birthday to your boy!
Posted by: Adriana | 02 October 2010 at 04:36
That's a lovely tribute.
Happy day to you both.
Posted by: blackbird | 02 October 2010 at 05:58
Happy birthday to your son! A lovely photo and a beautiful post.
Lisa x
Posted by: Lisa | 02 October 2010 at 08:21
Oh, Ali, you are making me well up. Eldest is ten later this month.
Posted by: The Coffee Lady | 02 October 2010 at 10:54
beautiful photo... it's like he's looking into the future and he likes what he sees...
happy birthday big boy.
Posted by: Monica | 02 October 2010 at 15:35
Happy birthday Mark! 10 is a great age. Enjoy.
Posted by: Kristy | 02 October 2010 at 23:21
Happy Birthday Mark - enjoy being 10 it's great! A really lovely post Ali. Lucyx
Posted by: lucy locket | 03 October 2010 at 15:39
yes.
my son is almost 16 - and I remember when he turned 10 - it seems so long ago. enjoy these days. they turn quickly.
Posted by: Ramona | 03 October 2010 at 17:03
Have a wonderful year Mark...full of exciting projects and special times with your friends.
Posted by: Alice C | 03 October 2010 at 18:47
A milestone for him and for you too. Happy Birthday Mark!
And what lovely brown eyes.x
Posted by: French Knots | 03 October 2010 at 21:46
happy birthday wishes xox
Posted by: driftwood | 04 October 2010 at 07:21
I'm struck by how much Mark looks like you, judging by those seventies photos you led me to the other week. That is a beautiful photo of him. Happy happy birthday to you boy.
Posted by: Emma | 04 October 2010 at 09:12
What beautiful thoughts - they'll echo with me this week as Juliet will become ten too. Happy birthday to your lovely boy.
Posted by: Annabel | 04 October 2010 at 10:39
Happy Birthday Mark!
Such a beautiful post, Ali. We've been doing the round of secondary school open evenings lately and you've expressed perfectly many of my feelings. The time has flown since I was pacing the floor rocking my boy to sleep and now we're sending him out into a huge new world.
Mind you, I'm looking forward to the textiles homework!
xx
Posted by: lesley | 04 October 2010 at 10:53
10 is indeed a very significant birthday--I hope it was a wonderful day for Mark. What a beautiful child! Lovely post, Ali.
xfrances
Posted by: frances | 04 October 2010 at 13:58
Exquisite photo of a terribly handsome boy. I hope he had a wonderful birthday.
Now, just wait until 12, when their feet grow multiple sizes in one season, they're nearly as tall as you are, and their bodies begin to take on an entirely new and unrecognizable shape!
Posted by: Lynn | 04 October 2010 at 15:43
Lovely, insightful post - I feel just at the beginning of the process of my son having a life away from me as he's started pre-school nursery. 'Glipmses into his existence as an individual' is so beautifully put.
Happy Birthday to Mark!
Posted by: Two Owls | 04 October 2010 at 16:25
Cherish this time because so very very soon, he will become a teenager, and because of that be more secretive and closed off to you. It's not a judgment of teenagers...just a natural progression into adulthood when they (HOPEFULLY!!:o) ) come back to you but oh how hard it is at times not to grab them and try your hardest to pull them back to 10.
Posted by: Jen | 05 October 2010 at 11:45
Lovely post Ali. Handsome chap as well
Posted by: joanna | 05 October 2010 at 17:07
I just loved reading this.
Posted by: Tracy | 07 October 2010 at 19:13
wowza..i need to show you a photo of my nephew, tom who is 11. they could be brothers.
Ari is about to turn 8...and that is old enough for me. Love the 7s.
Posted by: Tiel | 11 October 2010 at 12:20
What a beautiful post - you have such a lovely way with words - they flow and move and touch a space in me.
It has reminded me that in the stress and angst of everyday life and running them around that I need to make time to know my children and I don't think that is happening right now.
Hope your boy had a lovely birthday and thank you for sharing a small part of it - and its meaning - with us.
Jane
Posted by: JaneR | 15 October 2010 at 12:15
Your son kinda looked like my son, too! Like my son, Mark is handsome as well. Birthdays are one of the greatest achievements of a parent and therefore, we must make ways in order for us to celebrate it. During the recent birthday of my son, photographers in Irving did some photo shoot for him. The photos looked awesome, and I can see that these photographers have the passion in the fields of photography (Irving).
Posted by: Walter Booth | 14 February 2011 at 06:16